Fighting to stay on top

An empty encasing,
A shell that's all it is,
Nothing further,
Nothing deeper.



Shaken and stirred upon a dead sea,
Tossing and turning,
Fighting with the currents,
Fighting to stay on top of this.



One foot in and the other follows,
I start to sink slowly,
And as I struggle the deeper am pulled in,
This quicksand feeling.



Its like soldiers at war,
Taking cover behind trees,
Been blown into half by grenades,
Human emotions,
An empty encasing which is me.

Stroke

I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling,
Crap!is this the life I am meant to live, I curse,
Does it have to be this hard,
I want to get out of bed but I have no reason to live,

Am helped out,
This is devastating does it have to be like this,
Not even little tasks can I carry out,
I hate this!

It could be worse, they say,
Fuck!what could be worse than this?, I retort,
You could be dead,
Shit! I would rather die than be like this.

When teenagers say you don't understand,
I feel that hopeless pain, because in fact no one can,
No movement on one side of my body,
Paralyzed down to one side.

Stuck in a wheelchair,
Can't hold my grandchildren,
Can't give them the love they deserve,
And you want to tell me you understand?
Get down to this wheelchair and you will fucking understand.